I'm going back to Malacca again SOON!! OMG...

HEY!! I'm going back again!!! And it's SOON! Within this 2 to 3 weeks..!! But it's my study week. My exam is coming. After that then I really gonna have a very long break. But it's okay la. Haha... I will do the study part before my holidays come. Then like that I can LITTLE BIT enjoy my holiday in Malacca. Hehe...

Another chapter...

Finally…back in good ol’ Melaka. Not as boring as Nilai but certainly not as messed-up as Kay-hell (KL lar..) Won’t be surprised if I get a premature heart attack if I keep driving in KL, but I guess it’s partly because of the demonstration, those police did seriously stop every car with Indians in it… I guess that’s Malaysia for now folks…

So for now since that I’m done with SAM, I’m stuck at home and me dad’s office for now until next July..Never thought I did say this but I TOTALLY LURVE STUDYING!!! At least its better than doing boring jobs everyday…

It does really seems just yesterday when I was just arguing with dad not to come for SAM…but well, there is certainly no regret here, seeing that I have come a long loooong way and changed a great deal (for the better I hope..) I’ve met friends and teachers that will leave footprints in my life; done things I’ve never did before and of course learned so much along the way…

But sadly…everything does always come to an end. So long SAMers, till me meet again, what is left for us are photos and of course the priceless memories that all of you have contributed.

3 DOWN...2 more to GO!!!

Maths was tough (and trust me, that was an understatement) but nobody seems to be crying after the paper. Guess we were just all that glad that maths is finally OVER!!!
So i had Physics too 2 days ago...and well let's just say that was slightly better off than maths. Essay was a bummer as usual (those crazy Aussies dudes!!!) and I guess Mr Yap was trying to refrain himself from vomitting blood(as usual of him..) when he was poking around with me paper...And some were saying it might be our last physics paper ever, awww...as annoying as physics can get, I kinda don't want it to end...
What about English??? Not much to say there. Listening test was all over the place, and did i hear that rabbits eat cats in Australia??? absolutely barbaric!!!
There's still Biology and Chemistry waiting for us next week..but what the heck, I deserve a break right now..Until next week of course (heheh!)

Uh?

I really dunno what am I still doing at 3 something in the morning, but I really enjoy wasting my time and being unproductive, and still being happy about this… Oh no! Xiao Min…You’re a gone case…but I don’t care~~~


Another very important thing that I just learned: Never Ever Judge Someone by his/her Appearance. Cheah…nothing new about this, but sometimes you can really get an uninvited shock that the someone that you thought you know oh-so-well actually leads another life…Yeah, sort of like the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde that we are all so familiar with.. Interesting~~~

Its D TIME

Precisely 2 more weeks to the BIG day. Can u believe it? 2 more weeks, we will be sitting in B2L02. Sitting for the most important examination of this year, SAM.

YEAH. Mr. Yap is right. A single examination won't seal your future. But it will still determine where you CAN go after SAM. I envy those smart people with scholarships. Make me think back why didnt I study harder in my SPM? I was just fooling around, yeah, i did study hard but I guess it's just not hard enough to get what I need. So what, van, it's only 7A1's. It just won't bring you anywhere. It brought me to INTI, keep forgetting that.

In these two weeks, don't let anything distract you anymore. Nothing can be in your mind except STUDY STUDY and STUDY. I know nothing will distract me, besides being sick of course. It's one hell of a week when you get sick; non stop coughing and coughing and thinking that you don't need your nose anymore because it's driving you crazy!

Yet another ramblings..

The end of another week..now its getting nearer and nearer (drumrolls...) I bet in 2 more weeks i'll be sitting in the exam hall half wondering why exactly did I took SAM in the first place.
The past few days have been very aimless for me indeed. Now that I'm getting really scared, I guess I really need to do something to gain my study momentum again. Not daring to dream too much now. Not right now, there just seems to be too much to worry about at the moment.
Perhaps Theeba's idea of becoming a monk doesn't sounds so bad afterall. Who doesn't want to be free from all attachments and remorse?

Part-time job coming...

Hey gals!! Hi hi!! I don't know whether it will be a good news to y'all or not but I'M GONNA START WORKING very soon. Part-time cashier at Giant hypermarket. It's quite near to my aunt's house. But yet I still have to take bus. Haha...

However...I only can work 16 HOURS PER WEEK. Haih...wat to do.. As a student pass holder here, I have to follow the rules and regulations set by the goverment. And according to them (Immigration & Checkpoints Authority) ,

"Full time undergraduates of Polytechnics and Universities are allowed to work part-time of up to 16 hours per week during school term and work full time during vacation as the Ministry of Manpower has exempted them from applying for work permits. There is no necessity to obtain any permission from the Student's Liaison/Affairs Office of their respective Polytechnics and Universities."

Well, I can't lie to the Giant people. I mean the HR people cos actually I didn't mention about me, as a student pass holder limited working hours. They go and find out themselves. Haih...so pandai. So I guess I'm gonna workduring weekend only. I think it will be better for me. Then I can pay my attention on my study during weekday.

My Way

Ha! Here goes the much anticipated update of tze min's life!!! nyahahaha... Ehems...actually i don't really know what to blog about here, not that my life have been so interesting thus far, but since we did this bog up for something, might as well make good use of it eh..
So our dear Miss Christine Yap didn't come and stay with us (ah well, all is clearly forgiven but not forgotten!!!) So we had our trials, and it was..well..not too bad but not too good..so to speak..while the battle for the Trials has finally ended, now the public exams seem to be so much nearer now...
As much as i'm worrying about the exams now, a much bigger problem is awaiting me. Ultimately, the "decide your own future" question remains unanswered for me...Sad i know...I don't even know what my dreams are...what i will be so passionate doing that i'm willing to torture myself for it...
but one thing is for sure though, i woudn't want to get stuck to the same old job for the rest of my life. My life is too short for that anyway, and there's a big big world out there waiting for me to go and explore. Besides, who wants to be just a doctor, or a lawyer, or a trader.... when we could be so much more.

HEHE

Christine broke her promise! Haha.. Nevermind~ All is forgiven. Hey, Christine, you can check out my personal blog. I update more there actually. http://lynettelynn23.blogspot.com No time these days. Been REALLY busy with everything. TRIALS in a week, finals in a month. Everything is going so fast. But, I do agree we seldom meet. We seldom talk but I'll always remember you as my GOOD and CUTE friend Christine. Miss you a lot actually. Miss you.. MISS YOU. DO come and visit if you have the chance. Miss YOU. Wish you all the luck for your new sem.

LOTS of LOVE, VANNY.

NO updates at all????!!

hey gals!! what happened? how come suddenly everybody quit jotting something in this blog?
anyway, i just wanna say really sorry cos didn't kept my promise the last time i had my holiday.
i'm supposed to go and meet y'all at our campus.
REALLY REALLY SORRY GALS!
by da way, i come to realise that we are getting apart as time goes. i just hope that you gals (and me) will keep our friendship last. yeah,yeah...studies and assignments will be the reasons.
well, me too here. i'm having 8 modules (subjects) for this semester. and the modules are geting harder and harder. can you believe it??!! my this sem gonna end in 4 months and there's so much of things to cover. man....i'm gonna be dead.

eXcuSE ME....

HEEELLLLOOOO.......... I'm gonna enjoy even longer holiday then you two are having now ok!!! Just wait and I'm gonna promise that you two (especially VAN gonna cry to see me so so so so so RELAX and doing nothing since I'm gonna visit you two at your campus!)

Once my exam finish then I will be heading to Malacca for one month. NoTe ThaT!!

ONE MONTH!!!

Hehe...just wait and see! Save you tears now Van!! Cos I don't want to see you cry without tears. Been waiting for it since I was born into this Earth..

Bah!

Mind you, We have 2 weeks holiday now! Jealous not? Hahahaa..

Sides, we miss you.! And anyways, I can't really online in Malacca. My house got no Internet connection. Onlin-ing from grandma house. Hehe..

Hope to see Christine soonn.. Get your butt back to Malacca. Singpore evil! hahah.. :D

hullo...

Looks like Van and Tze Min are busy with their studies now...

Nevermind, since I am now having my one week of holiday, then I'll be the one writing new post in this blog. Huahaha..


Anyway, I'm having a week of holiday. It's called study week. Which that all students don't have to go school but to stay at home and do their own revision. So I am at home now while Van and Tze Min for sure is at school trying to understand what their lecturers are teaching in front there. Haha...too bad!!

Well, my exams starts next week. Two weeks but three papers only. Damn pathectic right! Haiz.. But good also la.. Cos I have more time to do my revision. Straight after my exams is my one month of holiday. Haha...Van and Tze Min, pls don't jealous! Wakaka...

Anyway, you all should be happy also wat.. Cos I'm goona visit you all at Inti during my holiday. But dunno when yet only.. Must see my schedule. Haha..very busy woman. K la..gtg. Bye!

The Philosophical Mind

Today was exceptionally free for us,thanks to Mr Yap who finally loosen his suffocating clamp on us. Not that Physics is ever that bad, in fact its the most marvellous thing that could ever happen to the human race, but sometimes our mind do wonder how much of these laws, theories and hypothesis can we take.
An excerpt from Newton saying "a vast ocean out there waiting for us to discover, while we are only slowly picking up a few shells on the shore out of curiousity"(or at least he said something like that lah!) do tell me that learning is indeed for eternity.
Enough of the scientific theories again. Conscience is screaming out for me to be more emotional, eventhough being emotional is at times not such a good thing, but this is still what makes us all human. So can i really ever be so emotional?
At times I do feel like a stone had replaced my heart, where the brain do take control of all emotions and not let anything stop me from being what seems to be the most practical thing at the moment. The infatuation people seems to be having, do tell that obsession with a fantasy will crushes hopes and dreams along the way, but then again, which being doesn't long for a chance to taste the sweetness of innocent young love. AW!!! Tze Min...you really need to get a grip!!!
Seriously...enough of my philosophical rantings. However, i do feel the need to let out all emotions in me so forgive the drama-queeness of me here. I do hope for the very best to the people out there who have been frustrated and dissapointed with their own emotions time and time again, worry no more, it is indeed just another process of growing up.

Happy Birthday To Lee Khai Mun!! :) We will sure miss you after you finish your degreee..!! :)

Vanny On The Lose

And it's gonna be another boring day with 4 hours of Physics tomorrow. Not to mention , Mr Yap decided to make a 6-8pm class tomorrow specifically for TEST.

SIGH.

It's actually 15 minutes to 2am on 24th of July and I'm sitting in my roomie's chair; doing completely nothing but slacking my FAT butt on the chair.

And come to think of it, I feel so completely depressed because apparently, I killed a bug a few hours ago. MIND YOU! It was unintentionally. It was right in the middle of the room. How was I suppose to see this tiny little creature?

Arrrhhh.. I don't know what to do now. I'm trying to study my Physics. But nothing would go inside. NOTHING, I tell you. NOTHING. Right this moment, I feel like the most laziest person on EARTH! Weeee....

Oh well, today was kinda akward as we had a ENL presentation and most of us were in formal clothes. ARHA. Bobby was with his TIE, STRIP T-SHIRT and LONG PANTS. Hmmmm....?? He looked kinda cute though. HAHA! Actually all guys in my class looked smart in formal clothing. And guess what? I decided to wear a dress anyway where every other gal in my class decides to wear skirts and slacks. AGAIN - I was the WEIRD one.

Oh, did I forget to mention that my roomie is playing match making with Simon for me with Simon's roomate. I kinda forgotten his name. Han Zhong? Zhong Han? Haha. Oh WELL. Im not going to meet him anyways. These crazy blind dates never work out. Eeeeeeeeeeeee..............

I guess I'm back to lame ol stories about my life. I'm trying not to miss you but every second that pass my day, I can't stop thinking about you. I just can't stop thinking about what u are doing right this moment, or perhaps, do you even think of me anymore?

-------------------------I WANT TO KNOW----------------

PIGS !!! ^@^

SOMEBODY PLEASE SAVE US!!! we've been pigging around for the whole day!!! eat...sleep...watch movies...chattin....doing nothing in particular... and EXAMS are just 2 WEEKS away !!!!

MOVING ON

hmm...obviously a very long time since i last blog...
well quite a lot had happened this past few weeks, but since my 'other half ' seems to be such an enthusiastic blogger, i guess there really isn't a need for me to blog all the time (a lazy blogger speaking :p)
SO let's see, i guess i'll just fill in whatever Xiao Yun haven't put in here. The most life altering devastating BIG NEWS is ------------ WE WILL NO LONGER BE ROOMMIES!!! there....guess some may say "oh??? no kidding??? you two can actually SEPARATE???"

Oh well, guess we have to move on eventually...

So is this for the better or worse?

i might never know...just that time will only ever tell. ( and no we didn't quarrel or fight or whatsoever in case you are wondering along that line..)
Everyone is practically reminding me bout the FINALS coming up in just 2 WEEKS time. oh well, i'm such a big fat slacker when it comes to studying for exams. The thought of doing some other more err...interesting? stuff do comes up to my mind ever so often...

Guess the race is on again, the ever depressing rat race. Now since that the Marchies are joining us trying to beat us back in this race, there seems to be practically no excuses not to study...SIGHSSSS..........

It's Not Just Sometimes

Sometimes,

People leave because they hate you.

Sometimes,

People leave because they can't stand you.

Sometimes,
People leave because they envy you.

Sometiems,
People leave because they found someone new.

Sometimes,
People leave because they don't care about you.

Sometimes,
people leave because they can't trust you anymore.

Sometimes,
people leave because you made them feel so small about themselves.

Sometimes,
people leave because you hurt them too much to bare.

Sometimes,
People leave because they love you too much.

Sometimes,
People leave because GOD loves them more them you.

But it's not your call to call someone, too fake, to be your friend. Friendship is nothing about who came and never left or who known you the longest. It's about who came, made a difference, doesn't hurt you, doesn't down grade you and doesn't do anything that would only benefit themselves, or probably just to prove you wrong even if you done something wrong.

Friendship is not a test. Friendship is not a game. Friendship is just part of your life. Just merely ONE small part that would not make a difference after you leave this life and come back again. It really doesn't matter. Friends are friends when they say so. But sometimes, friends leave for a reason you might not know.

Sometimes,

People leave and never came back.

SHREWWWSSSS

Sometimes you feel like you wanna get out of your room? And you're thinking of climbing that little window of yours?

Neh. Juz kidding. Haha!

SHOES.My Life Obsession.

Shoe collection from NYVan & TzeLMin Designs.

A whole family of them!


Sneakers & Sports Shoes Family.

High Heels Family

Toilet Shoes? Haha..

Ouch~~ Too many shoes? I can't get enough!!

* Notice the 2 cute and adorable teddy bears and turtle. :D*

2nd Life Obsession.. Awwwwwww..... Hehee..

Don't worry. You're important too. Haha!

YES YES! I almost forgot. My bedtime story.

~XOXO~

My Deepest Condolence to, Ong Tzong Meng and his family.

You don't know me well but I hope you would be resting in peace by now. Your kind deeds will always be remembered. May you be reborn into the Amitabha land or be reborn back into a human form to seek us all again. Hoping all the best for the family to find the courage and strength to continue on with your life. We share your sadness in this great loss.

-Amitabha-

16th JULY 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KEVIN VAN DORT AND SI LON!! YOU GUYS HAVE A ROCKING BIRTHDAY YEA! ---- XOXO *Hugs*

..........

I'm sorry Sebastian. It's not the same.

Another Weekend

It's Friday again and it's time to end a perfect, long and tiring week. We had a Maths test last Thursday and it was JUST SCARY.

Not to mention it's super hard and tricky, we had to do it with the March semester people too. Aha!! That's the thing..

Poor Victor. He must have been too stressed up that he practically walked straight to the glass door. OUCH. I feel his pain. I REALLY DO! (NOT)

My classmates have a little no-no thing for the March intake.

Why? Because they believe that most of the March intake people are stucked up and kinda arrogant. Not to mention SMARTER?

I definately DISAGREE! Maybe there is one or two special people in the March class but then again, January has them too what! Haha! I was sitting towards the right. Surrounded by people whom I never seen in MY LIFE!

SORRY. EXERGERATED.

On my right, there is Eunice which I assume is from the March Sc stream. She seems nice. I was looking pretty scared before the test and her smile was there to save me. Weee...! Hahaa. And on my left is.. ----- errrr--- what's his name again? HAHA! There, you get my point? I'm surrounded by people whom I really don't know. He's probably from the March Sc Stream too. Oh well. It doesn't matter. He was kinda cute, thought. Hehe :D In front of me was YON HUI. - the ever so dedicated genius who tends to get so excited even for a drop of rain. YES! Him. Not far from there was DESMOND. Probably Theeba's new boyfriend, father, son - oh whatever? Haha!


RECAP! Where's my Tze Min!!?? Right at the front. JUST PERFECT.

I was busy looking around for familiar faces ( there are 100+ students in the class) when all of the sudden I heard...

"You may begin NOW. You have 2 hours right from NOW"

WHAT??!!!

- I started doing the paper and the questions nearly gave me a heart attack. Nah, I predicted that would happen.- I just can't understand why some people just have the time to go to the toilet when there is not even enough time to finish the paper.

On Tuesday during our Awards Ceremony, NG HOE NIAN, should be given the prize for the "BEST JOKER EVER", "MOST CHILDISH & ADORABLE" and last but not least! "
" MOST FREQUENT TOILET VISITS"

2 hours just passed and that was it! It's all over!! Everyone was wailing and practically tearing their minds off the paper. Okay. Joke of the day. It was from Victor again.
This was what he said to me.. :)

"Hey! Can you pass this test paper to Yonken?"
"Oh. Errrr........."
"Ey, sorry ha. You're not Vanessa heh! Sorry sorry. I must have mistaken you with someone else"
"Ha? Pardon me? Ehh... But..."
"Sorry. Sorry. My mistake. Wrong person." ( He ran away )

Okay. So he was being suppperrrr BLUR---- an effect from the knock on the head? Or perhaps he practically forgotten who I WAS! Eishhh...

To the guy I met in the library, the MPH pathway, B3L14, and Audio Visual Room, Downstairs of Block P and N, Nilai Kopitiam - I WANNA KNOW YOUR NAME!

Okay. Am I being crazy or what? But I practically exchanged smiles with him everytime I bumped into him. Not to mention, he into Buddhism too... ! I wanna know YOU! Definately a charged electron worth knowing.

I want to bump into you again. Seeing you smile makes my day. Makes my everyday a day!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WEN LIN ( Xiao Lin) and DESMOND! -----XOXO *hugs*

A three pages of Queen's Guide award essay..

Hey, y'all wanna know something... Well, in my course now...I have one module which is call Character Development. It's something like a moral education back to our secondary life. But it's a bit different since it's not easy to pass this module but also not too hard. It all depends on your effort you put on it.
Some of the requirements that need to fulfil in order to pass this module are 10 hours of community service, do some research and presentations and essay writing. For my community service, 3 hours I did on collecting donation which were held during my orientation week ( stupid activity!) and for the remaining 7 hours, me and my whole classmates went to a community centre and became as helpers for an event organised for family gathering. Something like that la..
Okay, back to my title. Part of our involvement, we are required to write a three pages of essay on personal reflections. The requirements were something like this :

"Describe one of your personal experiences which has made a difference in your life. This experience should be inspirational and/or educational in content. Describe what you went through, the obstacles you faced and how you overcame them. Discuss the consequences of your actions/decisions. Describe your thoughts and feelings and thoughts when you went through the experience."
Somemore :
"Reflect upon this experience and share how it has changed, influenced or affected you. What were the learning lessons/points you gained from the experience. How will you apply such learning lessons/points to your future dealings. What advice would you give others who are in a similar situation."
Lastly:
"Report should be three pages and type written. Single spacing and font size 12."

So, I decided to write about our Queen's Guide story loh.. The title is "My journey of becoming a Queen's Guide". Well, I guess the reason I choosed to write about queen guide is because I think I have a lot of things to write about it. Besides, we learnt a lot of new things and lesson from overall our involvement in that award thing. Well, before that the teacher even informed us that if our essay is good and can inspired other students, they might think of publishing it in somewhere where the whole school can read it. But of course first the teacher do ask our permission whether to allow them publish our essay IF we are selected. Well, I said yes but only can publish in anonymously. Which mean without my name at d end of the essay. And surprise surprise, I am one of those selected to publish our essay in the bulletin board. Haha... I guess they are interested with my story especially the part I mention about getting the award from the Queen of Malaysia. =) Well, I really surprised when my essay was choosen to be published. But the problem is that I still have no idea where they gonna post it. Haiz................

Upclose to my weekend. I'm finally back in my hometown - Malacca; after 1 month. Oh, how I miss everything here so so much~

Somethings never change :

• My dad is ever so cute as always - he has a tummy now. Did I mention he's cute? Ahaks!
• My mum is still the skinny lady since she was my age! Need to feed her more.!
• My little brother is stil as loving as ever

AND the number one thing that never did change was my late night chats with my brother. Aha! That is something I was longing for 4 a very very long time. I guess we spent at least 5 hours just talking about his life and mine. Yeah, he's only 15 but he not too young to understand about his life and me. Well, practically, he's the best brother I could ever had. Sometimes, it makes me wanna just hug him for the moments when he bangs my head with realisation about my life. For a person , so young and tender at age, he's remarkable.

I went back to Pakard and meet up with my ex-colleagues. Lee was still looking the same. The moment he entered the shop, I could hear the same voice again. " OH, Vanilla!" Kak Along was still looking petite and sweet- as always. Just one difference, she's having short hair now. Alvin was still working there - salesman. Hmm, that's all the people that were still working there. I got my present donefor Andrew done at Pakard. It was a nice photo framed up with words for his birthday. Aww, I hope he liked it.

Just when I thought that my life was going no where but to the happy side, I received a heartbreaking text message. It was painful at first. But after a while, I realised that I never felt happier in my life.

YEAH. I"m serious. I NEVER FELT HAPPIER.

Seeing you happy would make me happy too; eventhough that was not what I wanted in the first place. Now, I can only sit and hope for the best for both of you. I just hope you wouldn'tforget that I was part of your life once before.

*THINKING HARD*

There's no point holding on the chance; hoping for something that would not come again. Kinda sad thing to ponder about - You couldn't wait till the end of the year. I wanted to say something. But now, I guess it's too late.

~ Going off in a moment. I have a wonderful wedding dinner to attend. My mother's cousin is getting married. ~ Well, I guess, it's not merely what I want that will make me happy, but perhaps what makes him happy makes me happy too.

Who Can U Trust?

I'm alone right now in my room in campus. Thinking about what a certain someone has just said. It's merely making me feel bad about myself but isn't it just enough?

I'm trying to tell you nicely that I don't want to get involved in your life anymore. Listening to you talk about your life and your decisions is just making me die out of life. I may sound depressing but to this extent, I don't know what I should do?

*Thinking hard*

You can really make me feel bad. With your words. You- have the power to make me weak inside, thinking that I can trust no one but you. No one is better than you. You fill my head with statements that I could even trust myself.

"She's not your friend"
"She told me so and so, you can't trust her anymore"
"It's not me! It was your friend who told me"

So, precisely, who can I trust again?

Damn it. Why have I been so naive thinking that going away to another state would make my past run dry and eventually go away? Right this moment, I just need someone to be honest with me. Tell me if I'm a bitch. Tell me if I'm the girl you hate. Tell me if I've done something to deserve what I'm going through now. I don't wan anyone who claims to be my friend and ends up like a backstabbing bitch or jerk.

So, leave if you don't like what you're reading. I'm just trying to find out who are my friends.

Ask me if you want to know something about me. Don't ask someone else who u think is close to me. But the truth is, nothing is nearer to my heart than pain.

* PAIN * My Heart Is Closer Into Breaking To Smaller Pieces That I, Myself Can't Put Them Back.
I just want you to be back where we were. Good friends that can trust each other. Be the one I once trusted. Be the one who listens to my problems late at night. Be the one I once loved.

To the friends I've just known, be truthfully. I have enough of these dramas.

What to do when you hate someone? Or when someone is a total b-i-t-c-h? Practically ruined most of your life.

Okay. I'm exaggerating.
The simpliest answer to the question - Forget about her. She's the angel in her demon world.

Ahh chucks. Why am I thinking about this again? Probably the effect of viewing too many Friendster profiles.

So when is the time to say that you know a person well enough?

• You spend most of your time with him/her?


• You feel like spurting out everything that is in your mind when you're around him/her?


• You feel that you can only count on him/her?

So precisely when do you know when you fall in love?

• You spend most of your time with him/her?


• You feel like spurting out everything that is in your mind when you're around him/her?


• You feel that you can only count on him/her?

RIGHT. So what's the difference again?

So, you have friends that think that they know everything about LOVE. They lecture you about it - what, who, where and when. Arhh, GREAT.More lectures. But then again, what do I actually know and when do I know to believe to what extend?

IS IT logical to LOVE someone but you don't trust him/her at all?

I DON"T KNOW..

It's 1.12am in the morning and I'm not feeling sleepy. I'm not online in MSN Messenger. I'm not online in Friendster. Pretty much I'm not doing anything at all. Then again, that has a bad effect.

Doing nothing will lead to thinking something. And the thinking something will eventually lead you to thinking to much and we all know what that leads to - Depression.

Rewind. What am I saying? I take it back. Time for Kenny Sia's blogs. He can really make my day~

Friends that I can always count on? :D.

Indeed.

p/s : I miss nothing more than my mum right now...

I WAS WAY BEYONG WRONG...

In my last blog, I mentioned that Dharma classes make you guilty.

NO. It's not like that.

It's actually quite fun. Like today, I waited at the library until the class start at 7.30pm. The attendance wasn't convincing andI could see the Hsuen Ming's face being disappointed as not many turned up. As I was walking pass the Cafe, I noticed Japheth and his gang were walking towards me. Oh~ What were they doing?

"Hey Van~ Where you're heading to?"
I look at him with despair but managed to mutter these few words.
- I'm heading to dharma class.-

"Oh."

Okay. So it wasn't the 'oh' that I was looking for. Apparantly he was coming back from Christian Fellowship. So there it was - the disappointed 'oh'.

Sometimes I feel the gap between friends when they found out that I'm a buddhist. Some sort of discrimination?

I get these comments most of the time.

" Ha? You're a Buddhist? You don't look like one."
" Aren't you aChristian?"
" You don't look like a chinese. Are you mix?"

Getting fed up of these comments. I thought everyone knows about the "Don't judge the book by its cover" proverb..?

Dr. Sin and Mrs. Sin - the advisors of Buddhist Society really gave me a awakening talk. Not precisely the big, boring talk. But somehow the provoking topic - the bad karma and the good dharma. He mentioned something about what ever you do will have its cause and effect; no matter where you go later on in life.

I vividly remember going to the temple when the exams are approaching - to pray for good luck and blessing. Never did I realise that it would not do any good if you have the good vibe or energy in you?

RIGHT. NOW I GET IT.
Wait. Do I?

One thing I just discovered. Why are they so many people that convert their religion to other religion? Especially when they are formally Buddhists? Just an simple answer.

Gautama Buddha never thought anyone to kill and worship him. I don't know about other religions but like Islam and Christians; you're aint allowed to step out of the religion...?

I almost forgotten. Both of them mentioned something about thinking the other way around. Something like no matter how bad the situation may be, you can always make it better by thinking it that way. Yeah, so you did many bad sinful 'deeds'. It's never too late to pay back. :D

~Amithaba~ - Enjoyed chanting Da Bei Jou.

Stuff Out From My Heart~

Sitting down at my chair, I began to wonder who I really reflect myself. Dharma classes can really make you guilty. With all the past deeds and karma? I can't begin to think how my life would be like in the next life? God? Buddha? Ghost? Or perharps a human again?

Worries.. Worriess...


"It's better being single. You can do anything you want. But you just have to deal with one small thing - LONELINESS."

Yeah. True. Totally true. Dealing with loneliness is the hardest thing to do. I have friends. Nice friends who never leave my sight for a second. But how long would they last? I'll be far gone from this college - INTI. And you might ask. Where to after that?

Exams are going to be over this November. And I'll be right back at Malacca. Where all my friends in college have scattered around the world. Not to mention, friends from sec school that can not be found anymore. Yeah, there are segelintir that went to Form6. But what about the others.?

Notice that I have a lot of questions? Darn. I don't know about you.But I'm feeling more lonely than ever. Not to mention, feeling sorry for myself.

"Photons give away all their energy to electrons to be accelerated out of the metal surface. Whole heartedly. The electrons will now have enough energy to flirt when they're out of the metal surface. Photons only give out their energy once; they will die soon after doing so..."

So, replace the photons with females. And replace the electrons with males.

So even Physics proves the male and female attraction?

Tell me again why do I feel the sudden prick in my heart whenever I see you?

Because I miss you, you idiot. Don't you get it? :(

I won't say I don't miss you. Because I just do. But when I realise that you don't care about me anymore, tears just filled my tears. Filling the eyes but not the time to fall down yet. These past few months, all I've been trying to do is to avoid you. Taking a step to college is one of them. So am I the only darn idiot who still keeps your letters and emails and everything that has to do with you?

I'm just PLAIN stupid.

But it all ends well, I suppose. I'm feeling lonely. Yeah. I know. I get the depressing part. But I'm feeling more happier with my friends around. Happier than ever since we were gone, lost and seperated.

Sometimes, I can't stop myself from thinking what would happen if I hadn't been such a pain in the arse. Or mayb how would things be like you would just understand how much pain I'm going thru without you.

RIGHT. ENOUGH.

I told myself I'm over you. But fact is, I still love you. What am I to do?

Conclusion = Be a noble gas. No sharing bonds, no taking bonds and no giving away any or whatso ever bonds to anyone.

Weeee.....

Wonderful day~

My parents decided to bring me up to KL this weekend. It was a great weekend indeed. Never felt even happier when they are around. I miss them a lot. It has been ages since I last went home and I miss everything about home especially mum, dad and leroy.

Dad brought us all to Subang Jaya where we went to IDP and got 'some' information about the universities in Australia. Australia. Australia. Would do anything to go there. But then again, why go there when your degree offered is not the degree you wanted in the first place?

*Still in the process of thinking of which U to go*

And the best thing ever was to see SUYI!!! Was walking walking pass the shops and badaboom!! I saw Suyi with Coreyy.. Awww.. Sweet.. Hehee.. I was so happy to see her. She still look the same but I still missed her a lot. Nice to see her! Weehehee...

So daddy dcided to have our lunch at Asia Cafe or something like that. Can't really remember the name of the cafe. And oopss!! Guess who I meet? IVAN?

*AAAAAAAAAAAAWwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....*

He couldn't recognise me with my hair. I don't know why. He definately still look the same. Still look like Lee Hom to me. HAHA. My heart nearly drop when I saw him. He was definately suprised to see me too.

And there it was again. His smile. Long time since I last saw his smile. Hehe

Soo........ after that, dad brought us all to Sungai Wang and Times Square and that is wheere the shopping spreee BEGAN!! Weehehe...

*Shop. Shop. Shop.* For nearly half a day!

At the end of the day, I got what I wanted for so long..:

• Low-cut jeans
• Spagetti top with beads
• Sexy top from SEED
• Green beaded belt from PADDINI
• Blue skirt
• Plain white T-shirt
• Little brown compatible handbag

Okay. That's a LITTLE too much I guess.. Haha! But oh well, it's once in a blue moon. Mum and dad got themselves new accessories too.. LOTS and LOTS.

*Ouch. I feel a hole in dad's wallet* Haha. His two princess bought too many things

We ended the journey at around 9 where we ate dinner at GIANT near Nilai. I had to bid farewell to them and teared a little. Darn, when's the next time I'm gonna see them again?

I LOVE YOU. Mum you're the best! Dad you're the one, 4ever and always.! Leroy, bad boy for not coming along. JAHAT!! :D

What's Wrong With Me?

The right thing to delete my blog in friendster? :( I don't know. I don't think I wanna look back anymore. *Frets*

I just need someone to hear me out. Would you be the one right there for me?

And so, It's Happening Again

It's okay if someone leaves. But is it okay if you might not see the someone again? I don't know what I'm feeling right now but it's just not going to be the same without you.

Screaming your name from downstairs would be something I'm going to miss. Seeing you laugh would definately be a no-no from now on. Looking at your argue about stupid and childish things with Sherin, Shaun, or practically everyone is kinda cute after all. Yeah, we only met about 5 months? Hmmm.. 5 months is not that long.

I just wanna say, I'll definately miss you , Prisnyi. I hope for the best for you. And you know you can always count on me. XD

And so, yet another person leaves.. It's happening again.

a Long Wait is Worth It at last...=)

Hi there! Hehe..at last I manage to post something in this blog. I guess Tze Min can sleep in peace now. Haha.. xD Anyway, sorry gals.. I really don't have time to scribble something on this blog weeks ago. Busy with my test and my presentation. And now that the holiday starts, at least I have some free time to spend on this blog thing. =) Well, I still need to spend some of my time on study. Once the school start, I will have a week of test. But I guess I still can manage my time for fun and study. =) Anyway, I really can't think of what to write right now. Moreover I can't wait to meet you gals!! I think it's still the best to share stories face to face right?! So, end of story..!! The conclusion is that we will meet and share some funny stories k!Haha..easy for me and also you gals. K,bye! Tata...

PooooFF!

I was looking thru the stuff in my old dekstop back home and guess what I'm found. A poem I written about 1 year ago. I totally forgot about it. Take a look

If ONLY YOU COULD SEE
Written by, Yeow,V.M.Y

If Only You Could See,
Deep Inside,
How sorry I felt when I lost you, FOREVER

If Only You Could See,
Deep Inside,
What stupid things I’ve done,
Just to see you.

If Only You Could See,
Deep Inside,
How hurt I am,
When you flirt with other gals.

If Only You Could See,
The pain I’ve been through,
Just to be with you.

If Only You Could See,
How sad I’ve been,
When you don’t call anymore.

If Only You Could See,
How heartbroken I am,
To see you messaging someone else
And not me ; right before my eyes.

If Only You Could See,
How disappointed I am,
When you tell HER everything
And I don’t know anything
About your life anymore.

If Only You Could See,
I’m a girl with bit feelings,
And if I do hurt you,
It’s not on purpose.

If Only You Could See,
How down to hell I felt,
When you said I purposely intend to hurt you…
If Only You Could See,
All I wanted was someone to love me,
And someone I could love too.

If Only You Could See,
How much I’ve been missing
The midnight calls from you,
And how I’ve been crying myself to sleep everyday.

If Only You Could See,
How much I missed those moments,
When we just lie around
Doing nothing.

If Only You Could See,
How much I’ve miss you,
Playing with my hair
And just sitting beside me..

If Only You Could See,
That I can’t live without you,
And I need you,
Every second in my life.

If Only You Could See,
That my love for you was for real,
And you were the MAN for me..

If Only You Could See,
How sad I am,
To realize that you know nothing
New about me or my life anymore.
You’ve forgotten about me!

If Only You Could See,
That I’ve been keeping all our movie tickets,
To remember the moments we had in the cinema.

If Only You Could See,
That jealousy was my thing,
To show you how much I LOVE you..


If Only You Could See,
What I’ve written for you,
But I don’t want you to know..

If Only I Could Make You See,
That I had always loved you and cherished you,
For every moment in my life,
And I’m sorry,
I was just being your girlfriend..

I KNOW I CAN

With everything that wants break your heart, you push it away. It's not going to make you feel bad anymore. You are a person of your own. You got back your faith, your strength. You just need to use it better-wisely. U know U can do it. Even if you feel that U can't. U know U can and that's all that matters. You're leaving the world you once lived, you are in a whole new world now. Exactly at this moment, your life begins again. Begins with new goals, new aspirations, new inspirations.

You won't let anything disturb you anymore. It's all going to be over soon. More precisely, it's OVER. All your problems are over. Your life begins NOW.

TYLER HILTON
Glad

Everywhere you go, perfection
Follows you the wrong direction
And you will never see if for
You get all that you need and more
You see it, you want it
You find it, it's yours

But you can't say what you want or
Take what you want or
Choose the moods that you fake when you want
You said your life couldn't get much better
Then where it's at
And aren't you glad

The only one of 5; exception
The child of your pride, deception
And on your list of things to do
Is make me fall in love with you
You find one, you want one
Cause I'm one, who plays

You can't say what you want or
Take what you want or
Choose the moods that you fake when you want
You said your life needed something special
Which you don't have

You can't say what you want or
Take what you want or
Rest and wake anyway that you want
You said your life couldn't get much better
Well, here I am, and aren't you glad.
Now you got it bad
I know you do

You can't say what you want or
Take what you want or
Choose the moods that you fake when you want
You said your life couldn't get much better
Then where you're at

And you can't say what you want or
Take what you want or
Rest and wake anyway that you want
You said your life needed something special
Which you don't have
Well, aren't you glad
Well, aren't you glad
Well, aren't you glad

Wonder Years

Taking a careless stroll on a breezy night has made it to my long list of things that make you feel HAPPY! The time of our life to actually feel young and carefree is hard to come by, and they say it’ll just go ‘poof’… and then there will be nothing left but sweet memories that you hold on to.
And for those who are quite sick of love songs (maybe for now), oh well….it may just be that you never actually give it a chance. And no, I’m not just talking about the young, passionate, full-of-curiosity boy-girl relationships that you see all too often in the streets nowadays, it is the big love in general. The one that your parents give you so unconditionally; the time when your friend warms your heart; even the smile your teacher spare for you when you did a favour for her…
Now why do I keep talking about LOVE ??? must have been all those romantic comedies that I’ve watched, its getting into my head now.. oh well, since love is the one which makes the world goes ever so round.

Life In INTI-UC.. Moving Forward..---> XD!!

Weeee hehe.. Summative lab for Chemistry. Quite fun for today. Not to mention, Ms Sukhveer asked us to " Be extra careful with the apparatus". Because most of the SAM students break one apparatus before they leave? OHhhhh OKAY. 5C1 girls and boys were just minding their own business doing their experiment. She was scary today. Even pouring a solution of thiosulfate scares me, "Did i pour correctly?, Did I hold it correctly? Did I measure it according to eye level?" It was definately scary!! Hahaa.. But oh well.. THat's what lecturers do rite? Or else, we will be naughty little devils. XD!

After cleaning up, all the apparatus(glass) were placed in 3 big pails. Shih Shung accidentally kicked one of the pails and PIANNGGGGGG>>>>>> What you did you have in mind? The glassware broke? If it actually did, it will definately COST a lot. Hahaa.. And not to mention, a bad record for poor little Shih Shung. Lucky for him, Ms Sukhveer wasn't there when it happened. And all we could do was gasp and laugh at the same time. It was preety hillarious actually. Hehe.. Anyways, the apparatus didn't break. XD!

Lucky him.

INTI-UC had this health awareness week and we were asked to go for the campaign. Get your weight, your height, Blood pressure level and BMI value.. Okay. So I'm a B+ . I thought I was an O blood type. My WHOLE family is O. Oh well... Hehe.. I weigh 44 kg and I'm about 155cm. Yes, I know what you're thinking. I'm short. Hehe.. But my BMI value is NORMAL. :) that's good to hear. Somehow I'm not pleased with my blood pressure. I'm only 59/110. That's low. That's real low. What causes low blood pressure anyways? Stress? Low food consumption? Well, I practically eat 3 times a day. Not to mention. I don't skip meals anymore like I used to in secondary school. So, why is my blood pressure lower than usual?

Answer : No Idea.

Should I go back this weekend? I miss my brother, my parents. Little Leroy must have been like an Indian after Jamboree Camp. I haven't seen my neighbour, Mich for a very long time! I'm sure he's pretty busy preparing for his SPM. I'm glad mine is over! Ahaksss...

Things to get done by this weekend:

• Meet up with some old pals
• Get the t-shirt done?
• Get some new conditioners for hair
• New clothes? Nahhh...
• New SHOES. Yes!
• Get my 50 papers of survey done?

Yes, I forgot to mention. I have fringe now. FRINGE. Okay. When was the last time I had fringe?

STANDARD 6?

Deadlines - Maths test, Biology test, Physics test, Chemistry Quiz(TOMORROW), English test.

How do I meet these deadlineS?

NO more Smallvilles movies. No more sleeping overtime. :)

Family for life?

Its been a long long long………….. weekend again. So there I was in my fifth funeral in my entire not-so-long life. This time where I keep reminding myself to remember every passing seconds of it. Not that I’m very awake to remember every single mood of it. So there goes another family. I am still not sure whether to mourn or to rejoice for her, for all I knew she’s live through slashing comments and senseless insults. The bright side to it may be that she was deaf and might not have heard most of the harsh words spoken. Maybe there’s a little bit if regret in me that I should have done more for her, oh well...at least I tried to let her see the little beauty there is left in this life.
Back to the funeral, surprisingly many who never did spare a minute for her when she was alive and kicking turn up for the funeral. Maybe the thought of skipping the funeral might bring bad luck to the rest of their no-less-meaningful life scares them. Oh well…and then there’s the pathetic “oh I actually wanted to call her 2 days ago but I just forgot…” How sweet of them to actually remember her. There goes the endless ritual again to ensure the departed one is truly at peace. The suffocating smell of the burning incense, the hypnotizing sound of the Taoist priest, the melancholic voice of the er-hu, the numbness of the leg from the long prayers….It was just all too memorable to forget (for now perhaps).
There is certainly nothing a dead person can do better than to reunite those distant families torn apart again and again by infinite insignificant stuffs. And hopefully, just hopefully that everyone will just realise the greatness of the family bond that is so strong that almost nothing can come between us, before it’s too late for redemption again.

Aspirations and Dreams Are Meant For Sissys.

There is the time when you feel that you need to study real hard to get good grades. Somehow, on the particular night, you feel that you have books to clear. You spent 2 hours cleaning and arranging your books. Then you feel that your room needs to be cleaned. You spent another 2 hours cleaning it. You decided to watch a movie. “Goal! The Dream Begins”.You felt that it was the most touching movie ever. You cried. You felt sad. You remembered the memories with your ex. You took a moment to wonder and ponder how things ended in the first place. You remembered what a jerk he was. You even remembered how ugly he was now. You jumped out of your chair and scream as loud as you can. Trying to forget that freaking bast*** who gave you such a hard time. You try to remember the happy moments in your life. Your family, your friends and the cute guys you’ve meet so far in college. Memories of friends start coming back, you miss them. You miss your best friends. You miss having fun with them. You started to think about your ex again. Darn! This is not happening. You opened your door to see all the lights on in the dorm. You shut the door and suddenly felt so itchy and need a bath at 12.30am. You took the bath; coming back to your room to realize it was already past 1am. At 1am, you feel lazy. Not in the mood to study anymore. You lie down on your bed. Thinking how lonely you feel without your roommate. You try to sleep. You switch off the lights. You closed your eyes. You woke up 3 hours later. You had a dream about HIM again. Darn! Not again. You try to sleep. You can’t. You tried everything you could. You took panadols to make you sleep. It’s not working!! It’s 6 am in the morning. Oh what the heck, it’s already morning. You put on your jogging shoes. You went downstairs to jog around your college. After 3 hours, you felt tired. You went upstairs again to your room and decided to take a bath. You spent exactly one hour in the toilet. You were at your room again. You suddenly felt you need to watch a movie. You switched on your laptop. You tried finding a decent movie to be watched. Darn! There’s nothing on ;nothing that captures your interest anyways. Okay, so there’s nothing else you can do but study. You open your Physics book. You started reading and reading and reading… After 4 hours, you felt that your hair needs some oil. You brushed your hair. You tried braiding it. You tried styling it. You wasted 1 hour doing that. You looked back at your book. It’s calling you. You closed the book. You felt lonely. You jumped onto bed and realize how much you miss someone next to you- rommie mate. You switched on your laptop. Blogging and realize this is where I ended up.

Pictures

Pictures is worth a thousand words. Isn't it great that you carry your camera along with you everywhere you go? Snap Snap! Hehe.. I've just turned 17 this year and I was thinking back of all the memories when I was young. Okay. So I can't remember what I looked like or did in the first 7 years of my life. Not completely forgotten but.... there are some memories still in mind. HEHE.

This is how I looked like when I was 5 years old. That's my little brother beside me, by the way. Isn't he CUTE?? Haha..


Alright. That was 12 years ago. Let's take a look at a more recent picture. 6 years old. I think it's taken at my old house in Desa Baru.

Next. 12 years old. Looks kinda cheesy rite? Picture taken with my cousins at my aunt's house in Yishun's Street, Singapore.

More recent picture. 14 years old. Hehe. Picture taken at one of my friend's house - Benedict.

This is how I looked like a year after. Form 3? 3M Class party at MP's MacD.

Okay. Now, how about Form 4? Picture taken at MITC with Rachie Ong.

My senior year - Form 5. Still the same ol face. Ouch. Never change? The only difference I've noticed is that my face went rounder and then went to an oval shape and it went back to roundish and came back to a not so round and not so oval shape. Haha!

Some of the very meaningful pictures.

Friends hanging out at the monkey bars. We are actually hanging. Not posing XD!
Freaking out just for fun.

From left: YinWen, JiaYee, ME, VinNie, E-Shynn, Christine, Tze Min.

Now, in 2007, after 17 years of living on Earth, my most recent photo.

Whoops. Wrong one. That's Justin Hartley. The ultimate, most hottest and cute guy on my list. He's so dreamyyy... :D

Okay, Back to this. Haha.

Hmmm, spending most of my time in INTI, I've met many friends - with diffferent personalities.

This is Theeba. Cute, LOUD, like to joke around, nicest friend you can find.

My closest friends in INTI. Love them so so much! Muaks! XD!!

My friends and I.! Spot me. The gal in purple( with cake on her face). This picture was taken outside our dining hall when my friends threw me a suprise birthday party. Ain't they sweetttt...??? Hehee... Some of them are not in the picture. Chicken out after the caking 'game'! Ahaks.. Spot any leng zhai's here? Hehee...

Well... That's it so far. For now. Carry your camera around. Snap pictures with your friends. You might not know who will leave one day. Nyaihahhaa.. XD!!!

Yet Another GRAND Intro

Wowww....looks like this place is seriously a place to let it all out now, just a couple of days old and it is already full of postings. Oh well...girls will always talk alot (or is it type?)
So Van....since that you have nicely introduced us, I figure you should deserve an introduction as well. Don't you think so???
Let's see, so my first impression of her were "Oohhh....so cute and innocent.." oh well, this later proves that looks can be deceiving. After months of knowing her, i found out that she can scream and shout too(although its not that often but you are really improving.) so there goes, the cutey pie can be as sweet as honey coated candy and as hard as the taufu sold in the dining hall.
You know what I thought? It really is no mere coincidence that brought us back together again. So you decided to ask me where am I out of the blue during the education fair (which was where i am at that time) so i told you i'm currently doing S.A.M. in INTI. Oh well, who knows you will end up going to INTI during the edu fair to find me and then met out dear Mr. Yap and then enrolled into INTI to do SAM as well without knowing what in the world SAM stands for. (and by the way to those of you who have the slightest idea also, SAM stands for South Australian Matriculation). So here we are again, REUNITED!!!
and where has our dearest Christine Yap disappeared to??? I don't care how busy you are Christine, but chatting online are rather meaningless sometimes. So here's something for you to let the world knows about your pain and sufferings (and of course your joy and happiness also la..) and we also want to know how does it feels like living in a country full of Kiasuism also.

CHIAK!

Cheeky Little Girls!
Photo taken at Le Meridien, K.Kinabalu, Sabah

INTI SAMers

Tada! Our 2007 INTI SAMers T-shirt. Cute and affordable!! Hehe.. Designed by me, Su Dar, Wen Lin, Tze Min, Prisnyi and many more... Weeeehehee....!! :)!

The red version - Front View

The red version - Back View

The Black Version - Back View